Lost
by iloveness
Summary: Along the road of sunshine, love and happiness, the sunset came and darkness dawned. Nick and Jess let each other go to save what's left of their friendship. Was it worth it? Will it be worth it? They try to walk, try to make a move but will it be away or towards eachother again. Does love shine over everything?
1. The Sunset

**Author's Note- Hello, everyone! This story will be a multi chapter and the length of it will be depending on how you guys react to it. This takes place one week after the breakup. Enjoy!**

Chapter 1: Lost; The sunset

One week. It's been seven days since Nicholas Miller had agreed to let go of the love of his life. Seven days since he last held the blue eyed beauty named Jessica Day in his arms, since he had hugged her and made an idiotic decision to leave their love bubble. That's not true, he still loved her. So much it hurts. So, why did he do it? Why did _they_ let this relationship go?

Nick knew he couldn't bear to see her with another man, letting him into the bed they had shared, letting him into her heart which she'd said he was a big part of, that it was all his. Now, as he looked around this room, it looked so unfamiliar. A few of her clothes still hung up in his closet, her strawberry flavoured lip gloss still stood on his desk but she wasn't there. He could hear her faint sobs from across the hall, she was there but she wasn't _there_ with him.

He crawled across his bed and faced the bod length mirror, he could still see her face while she covered it with blue face paint to look like a smurf. Those were happy times. He smiled lightly but it left as soon as it came when he opened his eyes only to realize that she may never lay beside him again, never feel the same way about him again.

His mind went back to the time of their break up. It hurt, it hurt so much to remember it but he closed his eyes shut and tried to remember every painful detail about the memory. The way she looked, what she was wearing, the tears streaming down her face… It was too much.

He remembered what they said, what they agreed was a good enough reason to break each other's hearts.

_"No, I love you!"_

_"Well, I love you too! More than anyone else."_

_"….But what if that's all we have in common?"_

_"I miss my friend"_

_"…I miss my friend too…"_

As he remembered their last hug, their last goodbye, their last anything as a couple, he felt a ball of anger, despair and regret grow inside him. Out of anger, he abruptly stood up, grasped the white coffee mug on the desk and threw it at the wall next to the door.

The sounds of shattering glass falling on the floor filled his ears. He looked down at the mess of white glass broken and smashed into pieces and scattered around the floor. It was a near perfect presentation of his heart at the moment, broken and smashed. The only difference is he only has one heart, he gave it away to the girl next door, that one heart was now only mendable by the receiver of it but he knew that it's not something that could happen now.

He collapsed on the bed, exhausted. Tired of hurting, tired of anger and just tired of feeling. This wasn't what was supposed to happen, it wasn't what he thought it would turn out to be. He saw them going for the long haul. Marriage, kids, a house, the damn dog even! Yet why is it that they are both trying to sweep up the remains of their broken hearts but wounding themselves even more in the process.

He was a lost cause without her, he was nothing before her. She came into his life, turned it upside down and made herself the best part of it, the most important part of it. They let each other go. They let the most important thing in their lives go and now neither of them knew what to do.

_"I miss my friend"_

He was even more angered at that thought. Breaking up had not justified that problem. It wasn't even a problem! He knew the moment he had agreed that it was a lie, it wasn't true. He knew that they were in love, they were in love with their best friends and that's each other.

Somewhere along the road of sunshine, love and happiness, it had turned dark and the sunset came. None of them fought to raise the sun back up so they lost it and now in this dark and deserted rose, he walks alone. Lost. So completely lost.

**Author's Note- So there you have it! Chapter one is done! Let me know what you think and please review. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Can't Fall Again

**Author's Note: Second chapter! This is kind of a filler episode. It just touches on Jess' side. You know, how she's feeling and whatnot. Anyways, enjoy!**

Lost: Chapter 2; Can't fall again

The white ceiling of his room has been the resting place of his eyes for the past two hours. He lays silent on the bed like a ragdoll left by a child. He closes his eyes, exchanging white for black. One minute passes, then another. A sigh escapes his mouth when he realizes that he may need to leave his den of sadness.

The shattered glass still on the floor, he tiptoes slowly around it to slip on some pants and doesn't bother to change his green plaid wrinkled shirt that had been worn since the previous night.

As he's doing this, he can't help but notice the soft sniffles and gentle sobs from across his bedroom.

_She's crying too_

The thought passes his mind stringing along guilt with it. It's not a nice thought knowing that Jess is crying, let alone over him. He hadn't noticed that another few minutes had passed with his hand rested on the doorknob, hesitant of what he may encounter outside.

He took a deep intake of oxygen before slowly twisting the knob and takes a step outside. It was very silent, the quietness only broken by the sad whimpers of the girl behind the other door which was getting seemingly more audible.

His gaze snapped up to the door being slowly opened to reveal a pyjama clad blue eyed girl with a tear stained face. He couldn't move, he hadn't seen her in a week. The times where he would leave his room, he was met with sympathetic eyes of his roommates telling him that she'd left or she's still in her room.

She hadn't noticed him yet. She looked so vulnerable in her pink clothes, her hair a tangled mess and she hasn't an ounce of make-up, she was still the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

He heard a gasp that shook him out of his love crazed gaze. She looked scared, shocked and vulnerable. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Her eyes didn't have the usual enthusiasm behind them but instead had a clear sadness in them.

He noticed her lips tremble and her eyes glass over once again. His instincts caused him to reach out to her, wanting to so badly hold her in his arms and comfort her. Tell her it'd be okay, that they would be okay but he knew he couldn't.

His hand reached out to her and with a mid-sentenced "Jessica-", she pulled away as if she'd been burned. She looks at him in the eyes with so much sadness it broke his heart again. He pulled back and stepped closer.

"Don't. Please… I can't fall for you again"

It was barely a whisper, he wouldn't have heard it if he wasn't so fixated on her but it hurt him so much. Though he understood why she would feel that way, it hurt. He knew what she meant. She couldn't risk getting hurt by the likes of him. She couldn't and isn't ready to fall for someone who may possibly break her only a week after she had already been smashed.

Without warning, she let out a sob and ran back to her room and slamming her door before collapsing against it. How had it gotten to this? How did they end up so broken? He should fix this but how? So many questions ran through his head that he forgot why he'd gone out of his room in the first place.

As anger once again hazed his vision, he went back in his room and slammed the door. His brain was so fogged that he forgot about the sharp glass on the floor. He marched in and let out a cry of pain as a jabbing sensation climbed up from his foot.

He hopped to the bed and looked at the damage. The glass had gotten in pretty deep, it was bleeding a lot and the flesh had turned purplish blue.

"Son of a bitch," He whispered to himself. He aided the injury and wrapped a cloth around it. Why did he have to be such a screw up? Every single thing. He'd wanted to be her perfect one but problems still occurred. For once in his life won't anybody just cut him some damn slack?!

Still, he knew that Jessica Day was still too wounded to face him. He himself was still too wounded to face anything at all. The point is, if Jess wouldn't allow herself to fall for him again, he knew he would never fall for anybody else again.

He had no plan, he had no idea what would happen next but what was clear is that he needed her too much to lose her. He needed her too much to ever have a life without her in it. Now, as he recalled her red blotchy eyes and broken looking face, he realized that he may have lost her forever.

**Author's Note- What d'ya think? I would be Nick and Jess' ship if the writers of New Girl do not ship them together! Anyways, please review! It'd mean so much to me. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Better

Lost; Chapter 3: Better

**Author's Note: Hello again! I'd like to express my gratitude for the people who've read, liked and reviewed. I was surprised I got even one review. Anyways, without further a do... Here's Chapter 3! Hope you enjoy reading!**

_It will get better._

With white knuckles and hands clenched so hard it might shrink, he repeated this thought over and over again.

With his last attempt at leaving his boudoir, he decided that the outside world isn't at good terms with him as of the moment.

_It will get better._

Taking a deep breath and sitting down on the bed, he once again looked at himself through the reflection on the mirror. The dark circles that formed around his eyes and the frown marks between his eyebrows, he looked so unlike himself.

_It will get better._

He shut his eyes as he drifted into the memory of a man who looked so familiar putting his hand on his back and lightly patting it.

_"Listen, Nicky. I know this is hard with me leaving all the time and all but… You know I love you, right?"_

_The seemingly permanent frown on this little boy's face seemed to have faded very slightly as he took in the very rare comfort this man gave off. Looking up at the man, he raised an eyebrow._

_"You're a good boy. Take care of Jamie and your mom for me, will ya? I'll be back. I don't know when but it's a promise."  
>The man with a grey moustache looked so old. Wrinkles, gruff voice and a charm that Nick had only seen in him. The man stood as he looked at his watch and looked down at him.<em>

_"I have to go now, Nicky. Don't forget what I told you. I love you, son."  
>The teary eyed Nicky stood up and hugged his father tightly. A very rare occasion seeing the amount of time his father is usually gone.<em>

_"I love you too, dad. Come back."_

The memory still fresh in his mind, he repeated his father's words that had somehow calmed him when he gets worked up.

"It will get better."

He said to himself, still looking at his reflection. How did his life from crap to great to amazing and right back to crap? Did he do something horrible for the world to just play with him like that? The best thing in the world gets handed to him on a silver platter, he has it for awhile before it gets snatched away again.

Almost getting lost in his nightmares, he jumps slightly at the loud slam of the loft door. He could take a good guess at who that was. He imagined her angered face, always so full of passion. He'd take fighting with her over losing her completely.

Jumping up from bed with a weird sort of anger, he let out a hiss as he looked down at his still injured foot.

"Damn it! Gah!"

Tip toeing around the still un swept remains of white glass on the floor, he opens the door and stumbles through. The next thing he sees is a tangle of brown hair flying through the air and hitting a wall. He looks up and is immediately met with glaring eyes with so much venom he nearly ran away in fear.

"What the hell, Nicholas?!" She spat his name as if it tasted like crap. He was honestly scared of this woman with a surprising feisty attitude.

"I'm sorry, Cece…" He said in a hushed tone as if he were a child being told off by his parents.

"You damn well better be, Nick. Remember what I said about crazy murdering? Yeah. Watch out."

He was about to answer back, he didn't know what to say, probably just mumble out an incoherent thought but she walked away and closed Jess' bedroom door in a much more calm manner.

He just stood there, not moving a single muscle as he processed the obvious reason why she was here. The silent voices from the other side rang in his ears, one of the voices seemed to have trouble speaking.

It went unnoticed, but he was now very closed to the door and the voices were clear enough to understand. This wasn't good, he should walk away and leave Jess be. She isn't his anymore. The thought was incredulously painful but he knew it was the reality. She's a free woman now. She could date anyone she likes, she could sleep with anyone she damn well pleases and she could walk out of his life the moment she decides that he's too much of a mess.

"I don't know what to do, Cece… But I can't live without him." A broken, very hushed voice said.

It barely processed in his head, he was so lost in his mind but he managed to catch these words. Confusion blasted right into his mind like a roller coaster on full speed and his heart beat quickened.

A loud sob rang along with comforting sounds that he assumed to be Cece. He was even more confused than before. This made no sense. He tried to connect the dots with everything that's happened but all he saw were horrible memories and it didn't match up.

He shook his head furiously.

_If she couldn't live without me then why the hell did she agree to end us! What the fu-_

"It'll get better, Jess. Trust me. If that bastard doesn't smart up then you'll definitely find someone who will."

His head snapped to the door. Those words… the words his father repeated to him again and again, a supposed comforting phrase just shot him right through his head.

"To hell with getting better"

He muttered to himself in an angered manner and quickly stomped to the loft door, grabbing his red plaid hoodie from the rack and his keys from the table before slamming the door. He knows where he's going. He's going to hide in a bottle of beer as if it'd solve his life problems.

Through his furious gaze and rigid actions, he knew one thing; things will not be getting better. Not now at least. Not when he was about to make a very bad mistake.

**Author's Note: Curious for what ****_mistake_**** Mr. Miller is going to make? Watch out for more chapters and I really hope you liked reading. A review will be very appreciated but thanks for reading and as always, I hope you enjoyed!**


	4. Mistakes

**Author's Note: Bonjour, my friends! I am very sorry for the long wait and this short chapter but again, I'm so piled up on things to do. I hope you enjoy this short chapter. I'll let you get to it then!**

Lost: Chapter 4; Mistakes

The rage stage; as they call it, is where Nicholas Miller is currently at. The amount of sadness, pain and despair has had too much of an effect on him. All he wants is to feel anything besides that; even if that meant anger.

The brown oak wood, the beer, the stench of alcohol- It all seemed very familiar. The drunk rambling, the "Totally over it" speech and the alcohol in his system had served him wrong.

"She's perfect, ya know? Big blue eyes, brown wavy long hair, a real sweet heart… But I'm over her! Ha! Hell yeah, I'm totally over her. That's what I do! I hit it and- what's the word again? Oh yeah- quit it. I'm also a liar. I'm not over her."

His head was rested on his arm on the bar. He looked like a man who just lost everything and worse. Which he did. Closing his eyes was not in his best interest as of the moment since all he saw was a random memory of her.

Washing her hair, on his bed, singing along to some random Disney tune; It doesn't matter, it hurt like all hell. The anger he had was aimed at many things; At Jess for letting this go, at himself for everything and for some reason at Schmidt because he'll be at the roots of this some way or another.

Sudden thoughts started flooding his mind. Out of his peripheral vision, he noticed the outline of a body making itself comfortable in the seat next to him.

"Looks like you're having a dandy time"

A feminine sounding voice rang in his ear. It sounded sweet. Not like Jess' voice which sounded naturally chirpy and sweet. This one sounded somewhat forced, as if there's something underlying. His intoxicated mind was not able to fully process this though as he looked up at the woman beside him.

The first thing he noticed is red lipstick coloured mouth that twitched into a small smile when she noticed him looking at her. Her eyes were brown and medium sized. The crop top and short skirt she was wearing showed off her slim form. Her long wavy brown hair was brought to one side and held back by a clip. She was hot but she didn't catch his eyes the same way Jess did.

"Dandy isn't the word I'd use to describe my life as of now."

The slurred and husky tone of his voice registered in her brain. She found him attractive. The semi beard he was sporting and the plaid clothes made him look hot in a manly way. He wasn't a pretty boy. He looked like a man's man. Interest grew in her mind.

"Care to share a little more?"

For some reason, he felt a pang of guilt in his chest for talking to another girl that clearly wants something more from him. Yet Jess wasn't his anymore and he wasn't Jess'. He was a free man and just like her, he could sleep with whoever he damn well pleases.

"Well, I'd rather not talk about it. I'd rather do than speak right now."

The suggestive tone in his voice picked up in her mind and she raised an eyebrow. She had no problem with that.

"I happen to share the same feeling. The name's Rachel, just so you know"

Was he actually doing this? He's heart broken and more than a little mad. Would sleeping around help at all? Of course not.

"Nick. You want to get going, Rachel?"

A flirty smile appeared on her face.

"With all my heart, Nick" She says with an expecting tone.

And rational Nick, the part of him who knows that what he's doing is going to end up in flames, also knows that he's just going to get burned… But it doesn't stop him.

**Author's note: Short chapter, yes. I apologize for the long wait since I've been on vacation and piled up on work. I'll try to make up for it when I can, amigos. Au voir!**


End file.
